squashedtiger

I've always liked the idea of confession boxes ♥. For other people, and for myself. So here, if you'd like to post anything, anything at all, feel free to do so. It could be a normal confession, a story, a memory, your dreams and hopes, love, something you saw on the way back home, a burst of anger... well, anything.

The only thing you have to follow is to do this anonymously and honestly.

That is all.

this is a really wonderful song, and i want to share with y'all;


( lyrics )

have been worrying about money for the past week... and had to go lose rm50 today sigh. found out it was missing when I was in the computer labs; it slipped outta my pocket, and i couldn't find it no more. kinda sucky because earlier i was debating whether i should grab a 10 or 50 from my wallet, and decided on the 50 because i needed the change.

now here's the emo part... just right after that, when I was feeling sad about it but pretty much accepted the loss... deric had to come along and tell me that he has it and starts rummaging around in his pocket.

then he says, just kidding!

....... it's not funny you inconsiderate poo-head!!!

-growl-!

Okay, college students on my flist... interested to do something meaningful and fun during your summer break?

Tens of thousands of people walked the city peacefully yesterday.They walked to Istana Negara, handed over a memorandum to the King's Secretary and they dispersed.

What's one day of traffic in exchange for people walking in support for your rights, for a better Malaysia, for a fair and free election? For a better future? I hope that no one will look at this incident and think that it's an Anwar thing or a PAS thing. The bigger picture is not.

(And who really caused the traffic jam? Was it the activists or was it the police who set up numerous road blocks to deter them? And not allowing trains to go to Pasar Seni and Masjid Jamek?)

Like a friend of mine said, sure, it's being compared to Myanmar, but the thing is they are under the military junta. We, on the other hand, are worse because we're supposed to be a democratic country.

If there's nothing to hide, why is there nothing on the mainstream newspapers today? I was really disappointed in that because I wanted to trust that the government will do the right thing. I've been reading both sides for the past months, not sure which is the truth. But today the government has silenced their people's voices... a clear example that unfortunately we don't count. All they care about is covering their own butts.

Badawi: Are they trying to question our government and leadership?

Damn right we are.

As Al-Jazeera has put it... this is democracy Malaysian-style.


LINKS
The Memorandum to the King
YouTube: Al-Jazeera News 1
YouTube: Al-Jazeera News 2
YouTube: Al-Jazeera News 3
TheCicak: Discussion
JeffOoi: Paint it Yellow
JeffOoi: How They Paint it Yellow
CNN: Teargas used on rare Malaysia Demo
KakiBlog: My Report from the Bersih Rally (Good first hand account)
The Star: Najib on why police didn't permit the gathering
AFP: Malaysian opposition slams government over protest clampdown
(Relevant links from MalaysiaToday)
On-site updates in comments for 10 Nov
Govt warning to organizers to call off mass rally
Pictures 1
Pictures 2
Malaysian petitioners defy police (Asia Sentinel)
Malaysians hold huge rally for free elections (Bangkok Post)

Let's just say there's this project that helps a minority, and at the same time, they are missionaries.

And because I'm an idealistic twerp, I dislike the idea of assistance with underlying intentions. Personally I'm against the mere idea of it.

But let's pull back the focus, much further away until I'm just a dot in your view; but the minority will benefit from it; shelter, food, skills, transport, education etc...

The good seems to outweigh the bad. It's something like, so what if they are converted.. at least they get good out of it.

I don't know. My brains seems to be going through some rewiring...

What do you think?

I'm helping someone to find a lovable family for these gorgeous furry big dogs. Preferably responsible dog-lovers!
( of friendly rottweilers )

It's not right to instill hatred in children; hatred strong enough to kill innocent people. To brainwash them for personal gain is simply sick.

Here, I'm trying to swallow the images of pre-adolescent and adolescent children promising to spread this message of hatred, veiled as religious piety, and ever willing to kill themselves and countless others for some distorted adult's sake.

     Bronchitis, bronchitis... I never knew the extent of your annoyance, (nor your existence, really...) until you have befallen me. As complained to Linh (a friend from Project Vietnam!), I think I've generated enough snot, phlegm and lung mucus to fill up a kiddie pool. For once, I'm not exaggerating. Dammit.

     That's not even my biggest problem; I don't care if I cough up enough snot/mucus/phlegm for a Olympic-sized pool, but what irks me is the force of the coughs. I coughed so violently in the past 3 days, it should be given a 18-SG rating. Seriously. If I wasn't so heavy, I might had propelled backward... I could say the same for fartin- no no, I didn't say that ;P. SO! The upper part of my torso hurts and I haven't started on coughing yet! Let's just say that it's painful enough to make me dread coughing. It's probably sore muscles but I feel as though I cracked some bones or something...

     Health is very important. Do take care of it. I didn't, so it's the whole 'Been There, Done That, Filled a Kiddie Pool With Snot...' thing. This is a public service announcement from Confessions Of a Confused Soul. Thank you for reading.

    Before unloading my another long-winded entry, here's a shoutout for MOONY!!! Also known as the Bouncy Oompha Loompha in our circle XDXD Welcome home, babe! Wished I could had been there T__T

18th June 2007
Still in Singapore.

Adventure of the day: I remembered that my EZLink card (like TouchNGo card, only more effective hahah) had money in it from my last trip to SG (Dec 06), so when my grandma asked me if I'd like her card, I said no. I boarded the bus with it... and I was right!!!

Amount left in card: 3 cents

I'm amazingly smart. Mensa, please endorse me.

     To not bore people, I bonded with my grandma. Also, I encouraged her to scold my mom wahahahahah! (I love it when my mom is being 'put in her place' by my grandma.) Visited a four-storey library (GLEE! GLEE!!!) which was only a 10 minutes walk away (DOUBLE GLEE! GLEE!!!) and spent the rest of my day there. Had an interesting chat with the housekeeper, Michew (?), about her own country Myanmar. On Suu Kyi... so many united voices with powerful support for democracy but guess who has the guns? Phooey =(.

Trying not to think anything about the next day... flying to Vietnam and I did not wish to have any expectations.

     I was commanding brain to not think about what's ahead so much until my brain got numb. It's like self-applied anaesthetic on brain cells or something. One bad habit of mine is imagining too much of what's to come, and when I actually get there, I'm often disappointed, so expectations = gets no-no this time.

Back in Malaysia since yesterday! Currently trying to heal from bronchitis, and meanwhile, here's an update! Rewind please!

17th June 2007

   Paranoid about missing the bus, my very harried mom made us all go early. Tossed me, my dad, my luggage and dumplings (for my grandma) straight into the car... only to get out moments later because her car ain't working wtf. We reached Corus Hotel very early though, and ended up sitting on the stairs, slightly shivering from the morning chill. I've only packed my bag the night before and man, if you ever need an expert to stuff the kitchen sink in your luggage, I'll be THE one to do it! Such skills that I have acquired; I would actually feel prouder if it weren't for the fact that it's one heck of a useless skill =___=;;;.

   Anyhoo, the double-decker bus finally rolled in, 15 minutes shy from the departure time. Weeks before, I was insisting on sitting on the Konsortium (because I'm a cheapskate and Konsortium ain't that bad!!), which would probably save us back about 80 bucks, but my mom wanted me to try the apparently "high-class bus". I got a kick from how they tried to make everything sound so high-end; on the side of the bus, there was " AEROLINE The Convenient Way To Fly".

Um. Fly? The only way that a bus would fly is when it hits a barrier and somersaults through the air. THEN you will say, "Oooh, flying bus!" before it comes crashing to the ground and bursting in flames. Then a smartass would go, "Oooh, dying people!" =_____________________=;;;; * tosses smartass into fire and burning metal*

And oh oh, the announcement! I found it so funny that I actually copied it down:

I'm starting to really, really like Vietnam.

The traffic in Ho Chi Minh City is awesome beyond words. A huge number of motorcyles zooming around with helmetless people on it, and blaring horns is a common thing. Not to mention how sometimes the red, yellow, green in traffic lights all means 'Go' XDXD.

I especially love the part when you see motorcycles from coming towards you from the opposite direction.

Crossing the road for the first few days was definitely an adventure hahahha!

Pronouncing Vietnamese words is also an adventure XDXD. God knows how many words I mispronounced since I've gotten here. At the Immigration, I told the officer, "Come on" instead of "Kam en" (written as Cam On), which was hilarious because I was given the WTF look.

Quy (sounds a bit like 'Wey') , this kid from the 15 May School, gave me a name in Vietnamese: Than Thuy. At first he kept thinking I'm Vietnamese and spoke to me, and I really wished I could understand what he's saying because he's an awesome kid!

In the beginning, I called him the 'Duncha' kid XDXD because one time, the SEALnet members were playing a game with our mentees and basically the forfeiter has to sing a song, and I was trying this guy to sing, 'Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me~~" XDDD. Quy picked up 'Doncha' and everytime he sees me, he yells, 'DONCHA!' Other than that, we've also switched names (his suggestion, so I am 'Quy' and he's 'Gianne') and I taught him a bit of Malay. On a serious side, he's a really sweet kid.

Who likes to poke me in the sides.

If anyone knows me in real life, they'd know how smiley of a person I am. I smile all the time, and maybe some people might think that I'm being insincere by doing that. It's not that, really; generally I'm an easily amused person. So I felt a bit surprised when I noticed there's one boy in the school who rarely smiles. He would play with people and balance on a big ass metal ball and still no smile.

I wonder if that's how you'll be like when your parents betrays you.

One time he gave me a small sweet smile and at that moment I felt I could go to Vietnam just for that smile.

Some kids there are really cheeky... and rather poser-ish hahaha! Like Casanovas in training!!! I was getting emails from some of them there and one of the 'poser' boys wrote a sentence in Vietnamese. Puzzled, I asked Linh for the meaning and she laughed, going, "Oh who wrote this?!?" The meaning turns out to be, "If you love me, you gotta line up" or smthg to that extent. HAHAHA!!

Okay, his handwriting is a bit difficult to read, but this is what I can see (without the tones): niv muon yeu anh xep, hang diem.

Today we took a 2++ hour bus ride to an orphanage in Tay Minh (gotta check that up) where there's no tall building... only glorious fields of crops. They needed a cow so SEALnet provided them with one. There, we divided up. Some played with the children, some cleared an area from weeds (me!) and repairing the cow shed. Despite being very deep inside an area, they are pretty capable on their own as they grow their own food etc.

As for the other people in SEALnet, oh gosh, they're this amazing bunch of people. Which makes them slightly intimidating to me haha. It took me a while to warm up to them, and I'm glad I did. After spending about 5 days with them, I have quite a number of amusing anecdotes like how this guy purposely used the flirtatious 'Em oy' on the hotel receptionist.

Who is also a guy.

'Em oy' is like 'Hola mamasita~' or 'Hey baby' (in a less sketchy way haha), and you've gotta say it in a flirtatious way to get the 'effect'.

My roommate is in the band in Stanford University and her band does really cool things like protesting logging in their way (which got them banned in the state they performed that in XDXD).

I tihnk I better stop now... is anyone actually still reading my shit? XDXD

Still alive la! I've been to MIRACLE AIESEC which was super duper fun!! So fun until no voice wtf.

=======================

My life is charmed.

Unfortunately the wand wielder happens to be Wicked Witch of the East, orz.

    When I left, ScreamyAss hath abandoned my house and a week later upon return, the runaway is still nowhere in sight. Then when it DID come back, there was a flurry of relieved sighs; from me dad who relies on the net for business, and me because I REALLY need to send an email and gotta check up on some, especially the ones from SEALnet.

Oh how we rely on the internet so much.

Okay okay, hold up... so what has that got to do with the 'charmed' part?

And because I have nothing to do (Clearly...) :

 

... unfortunately it's coming from a virus.

Back from Thailand; had some fab and not-so-fab time, and then now I'm sick.

Dammit.

Land of Tomyam and Random Bombings here I come!!!

Today...

I got double whammy-ed; cramps and diarrhoe wtf

Just scratched a pimple.

That wouldn't stop bleeding thereafter.

orz.

An ant embarks on a journey. Upon reaching my forehead, he stares for a moment. Took out his pen and wrote, "Land of Craters" on a signboard.

He left after sticking it upright in one of the craters.

=============

I can't wait for Bangkok, Vietnam and the MIRACLE Youth Conference.

Any Malaysians going for MIRACLE? It's organised by AIESEC and it seems awesome.

[If you're interested and unable to access the forum because it's currently wonky and stuff, leave your mail here, I'll fwd the details to you ;P]

Okay two choices.

You have the RM650 route and an RM1k one.

RM650: KL -> SG (4 hours bus ride, can overnight at aunt's place) -> Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC)
RM1K : KL -> HCMC

The first will take more time, but just as safe as the RM1K one. RM350 difference. (And yes, you have time to spare.)

Which will you choose?

I'm writing a report. Since it's an imaginary company with an imaginary profit and imaginary everything else, it's nearly all fluff.

Believable fluff if I might add.

My computer ate my 2 days work. Nearly 100 frames of animation gone in that corrupt photoshop file. Then the next day, the graphic card dieddddd and one day wasted.

I would had been standing on top of the stairs with my computer in my raised hands if it weren't for my sanity.

Sorry as I haven't been commenting lately! My stress is releasing itself in the form of pimples... INVASION AHHHHHHH!!!!

EE booked the tickets to Bangkok already. 18-23 May, and I can hardly wait!! After that, I'll compile my portfolio and go job-hunting~

Her mom was insisting her to go to college so Z hid in my house instead XD. i let her use my mom's laptop, but it was so slow that she fell asleep instead(and i regret not taking a piture of that wtf). EE, my travel buddy asked me about thailand about the 5th time since December. She's been tempting me a whole lot. I wailed that I didn't have money now, and she goes, NVM! I borrow you!

I'm glad she trusts me enough to do so.

Since we're on the topic, I'm not the sort who wont repay my debt, okay. Sense of honour and shit like that.

Only thing, time is tight, but the best time to go would prolly be now because I dont know when we'll be able to go together again as I'll be working soon. And so sigh, rushing my work

Graduating with a diploma soon. Was surfing bachelor programmes in the States, and I was salivating. I so want to go there... I like Pratt (NY), Savannah College of Art and Design(Atlanta/?), and Academy of Art University(San Fran) but a year alone could cost me RM80k++. My family sure as hell wont be able to pay for it. Should I work halfway and take up a loan for the rest?

 Would it be worth it?

I love my country, but seriously, the currency exchange sucks.

I applied for a volunteer program in SEALnet (go google! deadline for application on Sunday 11.29pm!) to teach English in Vietnam. Project Thailand was very appealing for me too as it's about environment awareness, but I'm not too sure if I'll be available that date. I'm praying I'll get it.

i feel like vomitting

and no, not pregnant

EDIT: also slept 16 hours today, because I didn't sleep the day before trying to complete 90% of my Business Studies. i haven't slept so peacefully in so long.

i've been keeping tabs on the Virginia Tech case... it's just so horrible. i feel so sad for the victim's loved ones and the gunman's parents. i kinda feel that the latter is hurting a thousand-times-fold... one, their kid killed himself, and two, his act before death put blood on their own hands in a way. How could he do this to them?

And those videos. There's one part of him ranting about other ppl (translation: other than him), how they have not felt an ounce of pain. Now that's just too selfish and self-absorbed. We ALL feel pain, dammit. We just don't go blaming the world alone and then go on a trigger-happy spree.

Then in some forum, there are some select few people shooting verbal abuse against koreans, or any orientals for that matter (they blur the line a lot) , saying how the US should stop accepting third world people.

I say fuck them and their fourth world mentality.

i hate racist bastards like that. prolly just waaaiting for something like this could happen so they can voice out their prejudice.

But of course, 99.9% of what I've read never once blamed it on Koreans. They understand that it's by someone wrong in the head, who just happened to be of a certain race.

Before they ID-ed the guy and we just know that he's asian, <lj user="damned_mind"> kept saying, "Oh shit, what if it's a Chinese? We'll get  prejudice etc". Well... I guess it won't happen? I mean, you won't associate Koreans with massacre after this event. There's no reason, no previous events to back this thought up. But I doubt any person, with a well-oiled brain, would think "Korean=murderer".

Houses of education will never be the same again.